Ever feel like you want to die at the gym? Congrats now you can dress like you want to die and according to the mainstream fashion world you’re now on trend. #emofit #healthgoth -This week I’ve spotted a “trend” on Pinterest and I literally died laughing. Literally. I’m dead. The mainstream fashion world tried to call it “Health Goth” but the truth is “goth” is technically only wearing all black – and goths don’t workout. The trend should be called #EmoFit if you want to be completely accurate . Get it right mainstream. lol Emo kids have more energy from all the monster energy drinks and candy they ordered straight from Japan. Art is rarely accurate but more an interpretation, so I get the stereotyped categorization of the trend- I am just overly analytical and have an undying need to correct people when they sound ill-informed.
“goth” is technically only wearing all black…
People have often asked me what was wrong with me when I was at the gym – well, I’m at the gym, that’s what’s wrong. I’d rather not let you “work in” a set, bro. Go away.
Equinox started the successful #equinoxmademedoit campaign but – let’s be real after a 4×4 Class at Equinox it feels more like Satan tricked me into doing it. I’m probably going to hell for admitting I hate green juices and I hate working out. So NOT “LA” of me.
Maybe Lululemon will stop soccer-mom color ways all together and go goth? One can only write in my leather-bound diary and continue to dream.
*Insert From First To Last Song Here*
To be honest anyone at the gym is slightly Emo deep down. I mean, why are you there to begin with? Is there an aching emptiness inside your soul telling you that you need to fix something today? Working out has a darker, deeper meaning if you really take the time to cut it open and dissect it.
*does 100 crunches while crying*
I want to die everytime I workout
I’ve been dressing for a funeral everytime I go to the gym since joined one roughly 15 years ago. Who’s funeral you may ask? My own because, I want to die everytime I workout. Sorry, I hate it.✌🏻️🤷🏻♂️ My goal is to not sweat every time I workout – if I achieve that and still get a “good” workout (translation: I feel some kind of pain) in then I feel decent.
I literally had my old manager tell me she went to a hipster flea market and understood why I dyed my hair a color. She still didn’t understand because, I’m not a hipster.
She didn’t even provide a valid reason except insinuating that I was just “going with the crowd”. Maybe I wanted to look like a fucking care-bear. Maybe I wanted to piss her off because it wasn’t conservative. Maybe.
I’m glad being emo at the gym finally caught on (not). Only took Tom from MySpace to retire and Jeffree Star to create a black highlighter before basic people accepted alternative into the mainstream world. Oh well, I’m gonna go listen to the new song “Make War” by From First to Last since it’s been 10 years since my boo Sonny has released something with them.
Below is a photo of me having a blast at the gym. I am permanently unable to smile in photos.
You know whats fucked up? When I wore a mesh top to the gym I was called a faggot. One year later? It’s finally kewl. Can’t wait for the funeral about to happen at every Equinox across the globe -_-
*every brand counts new emo/goth money*
You’re welcome for the idea, bitch 🚳
Anyway get some style inspiration below, I’m out I need a cigarette, or 12.
Style Inspiration below: